SO MUCH FOR A HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Just when I thought everything's gonna be just fine. I definitely thought wrong. What was I thinking?!

It's already hard that the numbers are slowly going up and then you know everything's so fucked-up all of a sudded. Today's my day-off from work right? Which constitutes a 9-hour shift from 12:30am - 9:30am. But I was absent yesterday so I didn't know what was going on in the office.

I go there, all enthusiastic and sh*t for my 12:30am shift tomorrow and I find out that I was pulled out from the floor for a focus-training (whateva they call it) that was scheduled earlier today at 7am - 4pm.

So I enter the office and I begin noticing the people who used to be so perky and sh*t towards me are the same people who couldn't look me in the eye. I look for Emor but he ain't there. Then I leave my stuff in one of my officemate's station and she tells me I shouldn't be there, that I am suppose to have a traning. I get all cranked-up, my heart beating faster than normal and I know something's wrong. Then I start reading my emails but there isn't a clue of what is going on.

I figured maybe I could use MJ's phone so I go to her place and then finds out she isn't there though the lights are on. I go back to the office and talk to the supervisor and she hasn't got a clue. Then I ask another one and fortunately she is kind enough and connects me to my TL's mobile (team leader). TL tells me he sent a message to my mobile and I say I haven't received it since my phone's busted. TL explains what the situation is and the worst part is, I, together with Emor and 8 others were pulled out from the floor for that f*cking training because our scorecards are way below passing. That we might be terminated from the program if we don't pass another certification. I try to sound perky and okay and composed but deep inside I want to scream "hell!" and just walk-out from that place which suddenly felt unfamiliar. I feel I don't belong in that place anymore.

Then I find out I am gonna spend the rest of the week at home including Christmas because they changed the schedule. Waaaa... I feel so clueless like a little boy lost in a zoo.

And now I am home, my tummy aching, my heart clouded with tears, and my hopes six -eet under.

So much for a happy birthday huh?

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By the way, I would like to thank my TL, MJ, Jen and Jhen for the greetings. Thanks. You're my consolation in this so fucked-up world of mine who keeps pulling me from insanity.