ARAY !!!

I was checking my guestbook just now because I was gonna send email to all those who left me a message there and then I saw this one particular message which left me crying again... I also checked my Friendzy account and there right in front of me, waiting to be read...

i just cant stand not being connected to you... i miss you... i just have to say, i love you so much... message sent @ 7:01 pm - Sunday,April 25, 2004

YOU-- *remind me of coffee, u perk me up *remind me of false teeth (if i had one) i cant smile w/o you *remind me of a car, to drive me crazy *at night, when i switch off my lamp and i see the bulb, i remember you, coz u light up my life. HEY call it chessy, passe, or corny but it's still something... Friendzy.com testimonial sent @ 4/15/2004 7:16:58 AM

...i dont know where to begin now...you are my reason to be happy...you are the someone id like to be with for the rest of my life...and you ian are so special... and i must say, you complete me and hope you be ahppy with me, coz im sure i am very happy with you. there mere thought of you gives me shivers and this warm fuzzy feeling inside that i just love getting. and looking at you just makes me feel so lucky that i met you...i just cant help but bare my soul out here to let them all know i care for you so much... Friendzy.com testimonial sent @ 4/26/2004 5:32:41 AM

AIYAN--you take my breath away, and heck you just took the words right outta my heart. la na ko masabi sweetie. naunahan mo na ako. as always... I LOVE YOU AIYAN. akin lang sya, id kill anyone stupid enough to get in the middle of what we have. kiddin' sweetie, ya' know i wouldnt do that. wabyu yanyan... Friendzy.com testimonial sent @ 5/4/2004 1:18:47 AM

after a long time...
i cant even count the days when i last laid eyes on you. i cant even think of ways on how to make it up to you.i feel so useless. are we just victims of circunstance aiyan?!i miss smelling you around me, i miss all the things id usually experience when im with you. i just miss you. i miss loving you upfront. im tired of loving you from afar although i have to bear withthat for a while.i love you. Friendzy message sent @ 6/28/2004 7:46:06 AM

pssst...
i know weve had no contact for the past days.i do miss you. i just wanna handle my problems alone muna.am not mad at you.i just want time for myself to straighten things out in my life my way with no one interfering.not that you do.i love you.i want you to do good in your work and try staying longer in one company as it will reflect in your employment record if you keep jumping from one co. to another.ok?we'll have time together real soon.and i do want to talk about that the blogs you post on the net. i have seen it you know. i just want to clear something out regarding that matter.i know you love me and all, but there are things where some line have to be drawn. soon...TC Friendzy message sent @ 7/11/2004 6:53:12 AM

i dont know...
reading that message, just got me more confused. im not really trying to break up with you, although that has crossed my mind recently (for reasons still unclear to me) i am a very confused person, i guess the time we spent on email wasnt enough for us to get to know each other that well. i may look simple, but i believe i am a very complex person with lots of internal issues that have yet to be resolved. that makes my actual persona a liability to the people i come in contact with. if i am gonna be breaking up with you, i wouldnt do it over email, ill save you the irony of us meeting and parting in friendzy. i am man enough to do that upfront. i am so torn between the fact that you are so affectionate and love me so much and the fact that you love me sooo much and that i cannot even match that. it makes me feel so incompetent in this relationship. i dont want you to fall victim to my personal issues, as i have been trying to deal with myself since i was young. and i dont like the idea that our relationship is one-way since you appear to be more into "us" than i am; that is with the fact also that we are so far from each other and that our work habits prevent us from being with each other often.i love you but i guess not at the same level that you love me. not that i love you less but i love my special someone in my own way. i just dont know how to explain it. we'll talk this over.just let me think and come up with a decision, if i didnt love you id tell you.(and i did kiss you on the lips, i just cant count how many times) Friendzy message sent @ 7/12/2004 8:22:37 AM

Iiyak na naman ako. Pasko pa naman. And everbody thinks you're supposed to be happy during the holidays....

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Anyways, like I mentioned, I sent out email to those who visited my website and dropped me a message in my guestbook. To all of you, Maraming maraming salamat po.