Yesterday while I was watching TV, I could not remember what, I remembered Marvin. I remembered how happy I was then, I remembered his kisses, his laughters, his promises. Those memories I should have forgotten a long time ago were like ghosts on a halloween night haunting me from behind. I felt a sudden rush of despair run through my body to my face leaving it numb. Then tears started to fell. It was unstoppable. I tried to resist the urge to blurt out but I couldn't. Tears were like rain falling from the heavens. I needed to shelter myself from those pricking droplets but they were persistent. They left my face wet. Wet with memories of happiness, of despair, of him.
I don't know what had gotten into me. I should have moved on by now. It has almost been three months but still he is like just beside me, staring from behind, wanting me to cry, pleading me to forget. But how could I? Really? No matter how I pretend to have moved on, the reality slaps me on my face waking me to what is now, to what is real.
I never imagined moving on would be this hard. I have had a boyfriend after him. But still he keeps showing up in my most vulnerable times, when I am alone in the dark with my mind blank. He haunts like a thief in the night with a look that could melt away my pretentious hard soul, my stone-coated heart. He break through my mask of deception and see the real me.
Oh Marvin. I just hope you know how much I still love you so.
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