ENOUGH OF HIM... for now

Shift starts at 4AM tomorrow and I am already here in the office... alone. Emor's shift is now different from mine. I kinda miss him when I should not. That pact I made with him keeps coming back whenever I remember him or somebody mentions his name. Emor and I are gonna be friends, just friends. Part of me want to end that friendship now, another wants to keep holding in hope that someday, he'll find it in his heart to finally love me just the way I love him. Oh, I ain't even sure if this is love I am feeling for him. Argh! This is confusing, don't you think?

Last night I had a bottle of beer with him... again. This drinking after work is becoming a habit. I just hope I won't have a beer belly. Not my tummy... this is the only thing about my body I like, and most people like it too.

Enough of him... for now.

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Later will be the real thing. I will be receiving calls from costumers. I am kinda afraid, nervous and unsure. I can't say I know all the systems and the processes yet. Especially with some complicated stuff. *sigh

Of course, Emor's not gonne be there. Ooops... not again... Sorry about that. No Emor now, promise. I am gonna be stuck with AJ (an officemate) who doesn't smoke. I can already imagine those 15 minute yosi breaks and lunch breaks. Argh! Alone.

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What should I do? I am too early for work... as in TOO EARLY. I ain't sleepy yet and I don't have anybody to talk to. I might go crazy like this. I texted MJ earlier asking her to go here early for her shift but she hasn't replied yet. I also texted Patrick but he ain't replying too. Where are the people when you need them? Argh!

So I am thinking of getting drunk... err... not too drunk. I have work still and the guards might not let me in if they smell or see that I am drunk. They can be very strict you know. And one of the company's policies for employees is "employees must not intake alcohol of any amount before their shift." Few times I came for work with an alcohol in my system but you know me, I can carry myself well even when I am drunk.

Which reminds of the day I first got really drunk. It was a birthday party of a friend (more like past friend). I got really drunk to the point that I vomited all over the place. Ewww. that was really disgusting...

******

Okay. I have decided. I am gonna drink a couple of beers. Just to make me sleep. Wish me luck! :)