It has been two days since Marvin left that email. I replied twice and I still haven't received a single note from him. Maybe he was right. He was only in a good mood when he sent me that lettoy. Maybe, after he sent that message he realized that it was wrong, that he made a mistake.
Now I am out of that tabernacle. Again. I will be lying here outside waiting for the rain to pour and flood me with misery. Tears will start flowing and my decadence will start showing once again. I shouldn't be surprised nor shocked. This is what always happen, doesn't it? One time I am happy, the next thing I know I am back to myself.
Maybe I was expecting too much. Although I know it was wrong, so wrong but once again, my feelings for him got the best of me. It only shows that I haven't been able to move on. Not a single step. And now I am realizing that maybe it is my choice to be here. Or maybe I don't have a choice. I am so fixiated with the idea of loving him that waiting for him seems like the only option.
I know I am a fool but if loving someone means making a fool of one's self, then I am definitely a fool. No questions about that.
For now I will stay here outside the tabernacle until another invitation comes out of the door.
*sigh
Now I am out of that tabernacle. Again. I will be lying here outside waiting for the rain to pour and flood me with misery. Tears will start flowing and my decadence will start showing once again. I shouldn't be surprised nor shocked. This is what always happen, doesn't it? One time I am happy, the next thing I know I am back to myself.
Maybe I was expecting too much. Although I know it was wrong, so wrong but once again, my feelings for him got the best of me. It only shows that I haven't been able to move on. Not a single step. And now I am realizing that maybe it is my choice to be here. Or maybe I don't have a choice. I am so fixiated with the idea of loving him that waiting for him seems like the only option.
I know I am a fool but if loving someone means making a fool of one's self, then I am definitely a fool. No questions about that.
For now I will stay here outside the tabernacle until another invitation comes out of the door.
*sigh
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