SHOULD I, OR SHOULD I NOT?

A lot of questions has been bugging my mind recently. Most of them having to do with dstuff I have to decide on, changes I have to make.

Last week was a revelation of what Wabyu feels for me. Actually he feels nothing but hate. His letters proved it, the way he replied my sms messages affirms it. This led me to think that maybe he didn’t really love me for who and what I am. Or he didn’t really love me, period! What he loved were those pictures of mine on the internet showing my good angles and my almost perfect face. Pictures can really be deceiving and in a way I deceived him. And now I am paying the price.

For the two months that we have been together (most in thought), I was sincere with my feelings for him. I loved him with everything that was me and with everything that I could. I endured days, even weeks, of not seeing him, not even a shadow of a single hair from him, because I loved him so sincerely. Not that I didn’t feel loved and wanted but time was never on our side. I admit that.

And now its finally sinking in. It is over. It is really over. It has been over for almost 8 months now. And in those months Wabyu was the only guy I was really committed with, though only in my alternative world. I have been praying, hoping, begging God to let us be together again but to no avail.

It’s time I move on. My rational side is taking control again. Brain over heart. Though it is hard (trust me) I am trying. And I hope I succeed.

Should I forget him? Or not?

I am also thinking of having a new boyfriend. Someone I will truly love and get serious with. Riddler has been a victim and I don’t intend to have more in line. I did love him, sadly, I wasn’t over Wabyu.