Brew Over Cigar: DISTANT MEMORY

Slept over at a friend's house last night somewhere in Fairview. She's a college friend and a kababayan. I also met her cousins which were from Romblon too, though we live in like extreme ends of the island. But nevertheless, they were a true born Romblomanons.

It brought a feeling of nostalgia. Deep inside me, there was a warm feeling of familiarity and of guilt. It has been almost three years since I stepped foot on that isalnd. Back then, in my frosh years here in the metro, going home were like rewards after every semester's work and struggles and hardships in college. Excitement would always cover my whole face everytime I get on the ship's dock, meeting familiar faces, chatting in my homegrown dialect, wondering who changed the most, comparing skin tones to figure out who is fairer from whom, updating myself with the lates rumors back home and among my high school batchmates, who married who and who got pregnant, and whatnot.

But those are just distant memories now. I have changed, and I would like to believe, for the better. For the past few years I have stayed away from my high school friends and classmates. For I have been a victim of a nasty rumor made by people whom I believed to be and whom I once called friends. I have been hurt, disappointed and degraded. And for what? Just to be a topic for some useless conversations? This is one of the reasons why I prefer to stay here in Manila. Away from the eyes of intrigues and close-mindedness, away from frustrations, away from where I once called home.

I have been transformed as an urbanite. And Manila more than welcomes me. Rural life ain't really for me. Conservative ain't in my blood. I wanted to be free, and now I am. I won't trade that fro anything else. For some people I might be just another probinsyano who got drugged by the urban. But for me, this is my destiny.