CAUGHT IN THE ACTSmoking in Makati

Here's the story.
I was in Makati earlier today, around 9AM, about to ride the MRT going home when I decided to buy myself something to eat and drink. I stayed at this area where posters warning about smoking were all over. So when I was done eating, I looked around and checked if anybody was smoking. And there was a guy who was and there weren't any policemen around so I got a stick from my pack and lit the cigarette.

I was enjoying my time, still sleepy from the trip to and fro Cavite, when a cop came out of nowhere. He said, Boss, may violation po kayo. Bawal po magyosi dito. Di nyo po ba nakita, ang daming warning signs? (Sir, you have a violation. This is a no smoking area. Haven't you see the many signs posted around?)Argh! I was so freaking embarassed. People came staring at me. And the bad news was, that guy I saw smoking already finished his stick and left. I wasn't even halfway through with my stick!

He asked for my ID. Fortunately I left my wallet at home so I told him that. He asked if I was working, I said no. Then he told me I would be fined a thousand bucks for the violation I have made. I was shocked. I didn't know it costs that much. I only had a hundred bucks left in my pocket.

I pleaded, almost cried. Then he said he could let me clean his patrol car. Duh!? No way. But of course, I didn't say it to his face. Instead, I put on my innocent, sad, teary-eyed face and continued pleading to let me go. I felt he was nice enough to puch more pleading. Then he called another cop, his partner I supposed. Cop 2 asked me where I live. I said I was from Manila but I just arrived from Cavite. Then as if putting me to more shame for what I did, he explained that in Manila, you can smoke anywhere, in Makati, you can't. I knew that of course. But I wasn't expecting I would be caught. I felt so stupid. And people where already coming in checking what was happening. I was a star! Hahaha.. Stupid star.

After a few minutes of playing innocent and stupid. They finally let me go. I almost hugged them. Argh! Thank God I didn't go to prison. Hahaha...

After that, I hurriedly went up the escalator to the MRT station and bought myself a ticket home. On my way, I couldn't stop grinning about what just happened. I am never gonna smoke in that place again, ever!

BACK TO BLACK AND PINK

Remember the first version of this website? The one entitled UNDER CONSTRUCTION? Hmmm... I am going back to the old color scheme of black and pink. I dunno, but I have this fascination with those colors.

I was on the process of doing the index page of my website yesterday and while I was doing the graphics, I stumbled upon my some old pictures I took during my last semester in college for the yearbook. You see, I was one of the photographers and graphic artists of our yearbook (did I just sound like a brag?). And when I was cutting and pasting and stuff, I remembered my old website, the one in pink and black. And I thought, why not do the thrid version with that scheme?. And so I am doing it that way.

The website might up and running in two weeks time at most. The graphics are taking me hours to finish. I want it to be perfect, beautiful and unique so I am busying myself with the design and stuff.

So all you people out there (well, at least those who come visit me here), wait for a big change in this website. And I do hope you will like it as much. Thank you!

FINGERS CROSSED

It is almost the end of the month and I still got no work. My parents are gonna kill me soon if I don't earn my own money. My brother even took my ATM card from me since I spend so much, even spending my brothers' allowance. He's the one doing the budget now. The funny thing is, I gave him my old ATM card instead of the other one where dad sends us money with. Haha... But still, I feel the need to get a job. I am desperate.

I thought out a lot of possibilities. Call centers excluded. I have never been luck passing through the first or second interviews. Seems like my voice ain't for the international market. Argh!

So here are my lists:

I am gonna try F of Studio 23. A PA or a writer/researcher perhaps.

I have contacted a friend from GMA 7. She asked me to send her my resume and she'll do her best to find me an opening. Thanks Karol.

Another friend, who works at Meg teen magazine, told me to drop by her office. She'll give me a referral. Mommy Florian, mwah!

Gonna try ABS CBN too. I am, at heart, a kapamilya.

If all else fails, I might be forced to go back to the province and bum myself to death which is like a bad thing. Worst even. Being a graduate and of UP at that, people expect a lot from me. So much more. I just hope I don't get in that situation where I'm gonna pack my stuff and sail back home. I hate that place.

But I am still on high hopes and I am keeping my fingers crossed.

TALK ABOUT NOTHING

I have got nothing interesting to say really. Just felt the urge to write something, especially now that I know a lot of you are going to this blog and reading my posts. I don't want to disappoint you, do I? You are my fan so I am gonna be good. Hahaha... I feel like a celebrity shit.

So I spent the night with my boy to catch up for the 4 days that we haven't seen each other. I redid his blog site, put graphics on it and stuff. I also tried to make him a website. But it is really hard to do so since he hasn't got any idea what he wants to put on it. So I am gonna wait for his ideas to flow out before actually doing the webbie. Better be sure than sorry.

Have you been to angel's website? Try visiting it. Seems like I am plugging his webbie. Actually I want to. Because I made it and it would make me happy if i know people appreciate it. Kiss my butt, will ya! Hahaha...

Hayy.. It feels good to love and be loved. Though I find it hard to think about something to write about. My juices usually come out when I am in great despair or when I am in this maelstrom of sadness and pitty. But nonetheless, I love being the way that I am now. I don't have to cry every night and wetting my pilllows.

Hey, read this "An Ode To A Broken Heart" I wrote when me and my first bf broke up. It's posted on the lower left corner of this page. Tell me what you think, will ya! (I sound like a control-freak. Sorry for that.)

I AM BACK

I have been so busy with doing angel's website that's why I haven't been in circulation lately. It's done already. And now I am and I am posting this right from my room using the new computer. (What do you know, I am connected to the internet. Haha! I wonder what's next. Hmmm...)

I am meeting my bf later around 6 at SM Manila. We are to watch a movie, do his grocery and drink coffee of course. It has been four days since I last saw him. I miss that boy already. It feels good to love and be loved. Maybe you should try it once in a while. Hahaha... This is great therapy, a breakaway from all that angst-ridden, blabber-about-how-life-sucks, and everything. Now I can simply stay home, knowing that somebody out there is loving me and wanting to be with me. Now it's not my imagination. This is for real. And I hope this lasts.

And I don't even worry not having sex for a while now. Just imagine, it has been 4 days since my last (with my bf of course). It's like I can stay celibate for a couple of days and then I'll give it my all when I meet my bf. Now that's cheesy but hey! Try being inlove!

Argh! I hope I can stay at his place later. To h&k, I love you.

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Sorry if I wasn’t posting anything these past couple of days (or so). I have been busy with my boyfriend and stuff. Yes! You read it right. I have a boyfriend already. Don't worry, I am going to tell what happened while I was away. Howie wants to know the blow-by-blow account. Hahaha… I am quite flattered that people do read this blog and that they even wanna know more about me. Or am I being too presumptuous?

Anyways, here’s what happened. So I met h&k at Robinson’s Place in Manila last Saturday. We were supposed to meet at 4:30PM but I was late by almost an hour (or so) because of the extremely heavy traffic. When I entered the mall I immediately looked for a comfort room where I can relieve myself. My bladder was gonna blow up and I needed to get a piss. The first CR was closed for renovation so I looked for another one, reading signage everywhere, trying to walk as fast as I could, holding that persistent liquid that was about to come out, using every escalators to and fro floors until I saw one, finally.

After that, I looked for the Nescafe coffee shop where I was supposed to meet him (I told him I’d be the one waiting for him but it ended up the other way around). He wasn’t around to I ordered a cappuccino while I wait. Then he came. Argh! He was so cute!

So we watched a 13 Going 30, had dinner at Popeye’s and then headed to his place. Then that question pop out of nowhere. “So what are we?”

I love him so I asked him if he wants to be my boyfriend. Fortunately, he said yes! Hayyy… I feel so blessed to have him. And here is the part where I broke my challenge, 14 days and 14 Nights. The hell with it! I broke it out of love, at least. The rest, is as they say, history.

Stayed overnight and then went to Espana the next day to help a friend make a website for his thesis. Did it in 4 hours with the help of this artsy fartsy guy, though I think the website is pretty blank. It lacks content and there are just so many negative spaces. Oh well, I hope they liked it though.

FINALLY, MY VERY OWN COMPUTER

Dad bought us (me and my borthers) a brand new computer yesterday. It's gonna be staying in my room. Hahaha... I can now focus on doing the next version of my website. It's gonna be more exciting, funnier (Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde), and cuter.

And who knows, I might get myself a webcam and then get naked in front of you. Hahaha. I bet you'd love that, woundn't you? Sorry boys, I am taken. Well, almost. It's gonna be decided later today after I meet h&k. Ahehehe...

Gotta check my mails. See yah!

EXCITEMENT WRITTEN ALL OVER ME

I am meeting hugs and kisses today. (Pardon me for the mushiness but I refer to people using pronouns. Much safer. And I don't want to put them in a bad light or something) H&K is this guy I have been talking with for quite recently. He's cute, brilliant and he loves me. Or so he says. He makes movie reviews. Argh! I am giving it away. Hahaha...

We're gonna meet around 4AM later. I might even stay overnight at his place, if he doens't run when he finally sees me in person that is. We plan to watch a movie, have dinner after and then drink coffee. But he doesn't like coffee so he'll just have to settle for water, I guess.

I hope this turns out well.

DIVISORIA ON A RAINY FRIDAY

Just got home from Divisoria. God, was it awful. The roads were so wet and muddy, black-muddy. There were so many people crossing and walking and talking and buying and everything. It was so noisy and everyone was just so busy. Including us. My mom bought yards of textile that my Aunt asked for. We went into several bargain stores, asking lower prices, getting into arguments and discussions and eventually leaving because the sales lady wouldn’t budge the price. Then we would go into another store and do the same thing. Argh! My feet ached so much. And I was just in sandals so naturally, my feet were full of mud too. Really gross.

But of course, I didn’t show my parents much disappointment. Not now. My being jobless is already an issue and I don’t wanna go into another discussion because I know that I would lose this time.

So after hours of walking in that muddy hell, we had ourselves, or rather dad had, a big plastic bag full of cloth and other stuff that we bought.

I am just so tired. Argh!

POP CAME WITH A SURPRISE TODAY

My tummy was craving for food around 4AM earlier so i decided to go out and buy myself something to eat at this 24hour bakeshop. When I got home, I immediately made myself a cup of coffee (maybe the reason why I still don't feel sleepy).

While I was having my coffee and bread in the dining area, I heard the gate open outside. I knew it was my father since he already told me yesterday that he would be arriving early today from Odiongan, my hometown. He was talking to someone. I opened the door and to my surprise...

Mama was with him. Was really surprised and happy at the same time. The last time I have seen my mom was when she came here, along with my dad and two siblings, to attend my graduation. They left Manila two days after.

After a lot of chitchat, updates, who just died, scolding for not having a job yet, one of my brothers came down , thankfully. He rescued me from more scoldings and preachings that was perceptively getting bigger and heavier. And then came my two other brothers and so my being jobless was kicked off the agenda. But not for long. My dad obviously wanted to grill me. Eventually he caught up with me. Argh! He wasn't this terrorizing before. Actually, they once said that they're not putting any pressure on me. Now I think they do. Even my bones could feel it.

Argh!

HIS FAVOURITE CONCUBINE

I have been awake for almost 24 hours already. Argh!

Did tons of laundry, stacked in the garage for almost two weeks already that left my arms numb and my body smelling like laundry soap, last night. After which I talked to angel (from my previous post). He sent me an sms message and asked if I could call him that night. I declined at first saying that my cousin was using the phone line for the internet. But he pleaded and I, being the push-over that I am, was left with no choice. He was/is just so irresistable. I don't know what spell he used on me or what he has that keeps me holding on and hoping that he would eventually realize that he loves me, or something. However I try to forget him or avoid him, I just couldn't do it and it always makes me feel happy and inlove whenever I talk to him.

So I asked my cousin if I could use the phone for 30 minutes and fortunately, he agreed.

Angel said things that made me more confused and kept me hopeful... uhmm... more like, hoping. He likes me and he misses me. He loves talking to me. He even called me his favourite concubine.

Now I don't know if I should be flattered or what but it definitely left a mark in my mind and heart. Our conversation ended around 2AM, almost an hour, when he decided to hit the shower, even teasing me to join him. Haha... that!, I would gladly do. It would be my pleasure. But it was a joke as he clarified immediately. Waaa...

He asked for my ex-boyfriend's number though. He said he liked my X's pictures and how they were taken. He's so creative. But I am sure that's just a guise for something deeper. What the heck! He's my X anyway... An X. Meant to be forgotten. Move on Ian, live... forget... The last time I texted him, which was like a week ago, he replied, "Can't you take a hint?!" Argh! Obviously, he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. Came as a blow but I had to face it. Hurts... Never texted him after that.

Angel can have him if he wants to. In fact, he can easily have him. Them two would look great together. I will just have to keep this feeling for Angel at bay. For how long, I ain't sure.

IT IS RAINING AND I'VE GOT NOTHING ELSE TO DO... (but write anything)

So I read this blog of a friend (though I really hope we can be more than that) earlier today. I really enjoyed the way he praises and most of the time spoils the movies he watches. If there's gonna be one person I would want to go out to movies with, it has got to be him. His eloquence and brilliance fascinates me, maybe even more than that. Fascination can quickly develop into a lot of things. We have been talking for quite sometime now after I met him at yahoo and I think we get along very well. Anyways, you should read his blog too if you're up for some spanking and cruelty. Haha... I highly recommend this one. He's like the masculine counterpart of Jessica Zafra, not that Jessica isn't already masculine. Harhar... In fairness to Jessica though, I have read some of her books and if there's one word that would describe her, it would be splendid.

Argh! People are quickly gathering here inside the cafe, mostly students who dont know anything but play Ragnarok. I don't know why they get hooked inthis game. I, myself tried it once, after being left out in my cousin and my brothers' conversations at home, but never got the hang of it. They always talk about this game which I know nothing of. So I always end up talking to myself. You should see my cousin. This guy is like the most addicted person I know. He spends all of his time playing Ragnarok and even when he sleeps, which is like 2 hours a day, his computer is always on. Thank God for Wednesdays for he gets to stop playing for 5 hours, 7-12AM, because the game has to undergo maintenance. And since he uses dial-up to connect to the Internet, nobody can use the phone except on Wednesday mornings or when you beg for a 30-minute phone usage, which he will grant you half-heartedly.

I just hope he thinks of applying for DSL already. Argh! And I hope soon.

Hmmm... Some guy is playing a guitar in the background. A perfect blend for the hard rain outside. I feel so mellow and serene, except for some chitchat the here and there.

Oops, gotta check my other mails...

14 DAYS and 14 NIGHTSCan I go through with it?

I was watching TV earlier, switching channels and feeling bored when an idea entered my mind. I know I have been having sex for almost every other day recently, and sometimes more than once on the same day with different guys even. And quite frankly, it is becoming like an addiction or something Not that I am a nympho or anything.

So I decided to free myself from these sexual escapades for two weeks, 14 days straight. I would have opted for 40 day and 40 nights just like what Josh Harnett did in the movie but I know for a fact that I can't last that long. Hey, two weeks is extremely a long period of time to hold back my libido!

Well, I know some people will shrug and dismiss this as some shenanigan I am trying to pull off, but for me this is definitely a challenge. I am gonna try to be a eunuch for 14 days starting today, Monday. But this challenge will not include self-satisfaction. I am gonna be a priest for a couple of weeks, at least give me the liberty to please myself in my own little but nasty way. Haha..

Okay, as I have said, this is not some bravado I am doing not am I trying to be a paragon of some shit. I am actually serious. And I am telling you guys and gals and those inbetweens, this is gonna be hard on my part. Ask my friends.

So all you guys who I have made commitmets with, we will have to reschedule. Slots are not gonna be open until after 14 days. Haha...

A WEEK THAT WAS!

Sorry if I was out for several days. Not that nothing happened for the past few days or anything. Actually, so many things happened. Here’s the rundown.

Monday

I was at GMA-7 for an interview. I applied, through a friend, as a researcher or a production assistant in the station’s new TV show, OUT! It is gay-oriented program which, needless to say, tackles gay issues.

I haven’t heard from them yet so I am supposing I didn’t pass the interview. So much for being a kapuso.

Wednesday

Watched “Laws of Attraction,” which starred Julianne Morre and Pierce Brosnan, with a guy at SM North Edsa. Did something naughty inside the movie house that left us both with painful tummies. Had coffee after talking about sex and a place to do it. Roamed the mall after and ended up in the 4th level of the car park.

The floor was empty, expect for a janitor. I hurriedly unzip his pants and got his throbbing cock out of his boxers. I gave him a head. He went home pretty satisfied.

That night I went out with a couple of guys to Farenheit (more like Epitome) somewhere in E. Rodriguez. After spending hours (them) in a videoke machine, we headed to the shower room. Of course, we were butt naked. Then they disappeared. I wanted to explore the place more but I wasn’t really comfortable showing off my naked body with only a towel on. Most of the guys there had good-looking bodies so I got dressed and headed upstairs to the AVR where porn is being shown. Spend the rest of the night there while drinking beers, feeling bored and sleepy. After the movie, I decided to leave the place. Went out at around 2AM.

Called another guy I was talking a lot with recently and asked if he wanted to meet. Fortunately, he was still up so he met me at Cubao. We proceeded to his place and talked. Watched a porn movie which was really more of disgusting than arousing. I told him to shut it off after several minutes. Spent the following day at his place, rented a couple of decent movies, met his virgin bestfriend, his family and went home around 10PM, Thursday.

He was cute by the way. I didn’t expect him to be so adorable. I couldn’t stop myself from staring at him, pinching his nose and hugging him tight. I really liked him. But he didn’t like me. Got to move on.

While I was in his place, a guy texted me asking for my landline number. Since I was out of the house, I asked him to call up at the guy’s number I was with. They ended up talking and now, they’re lovers. Argh! Hurts but I can’t do anything. Jealousy covered my face. Well his happy now so I beter bug off.

Now
I am talking to this wonderful guy right now. He’s four years younger than me, short for my ideal age, and is a college student at some school in Manila. He’s sweet, thoughtful and is a good singer. Just earlier I asked him to sing “Because of You” by Keith Martin though I like Kyla’s version better.

I hope this turns out good. I am really beginning to fall for him.

MAYBE THIS COULD BE IT!

I was browsing the TV late last night after finishing tons of laundry when I chance upon a sort of talk show with the President and the Vice President. The topic was about infrastructures being built to provide better transportation. It also tackeld future projects like decongesting Metro Manila, improving the quality of life, transferring some government agencies to provinces, etc.

I am really not a fan of the government. I hate politics. People in it are a bunch of craps and corrupts. The country is obviously sinking, and fast. Though I am not a pure activist at heart. I am a semi-activist in my own right, if I may sayso. I think rallies and demonstrations are ineffective already. The government is already numb with these kinds of actions.

So back to last night. I found myself listening attentively to everything the President said, unbelievably. I have never been a fan of GMA but last night I was, for a moment. Somehow I found myslef believing that she could make a difference, that she was sincere, that she can rebuild a wrecked, poor nation such as ours.

Maybe I have been very pessimistic about the government or this administration. I would have voted for Lacson if I were able to vote during the last elections. I believed in him. A Marcos-type persona. I thought kamay na bakal would be the answer. That, I will never know. But now, GMA sits in power. I and all of us could only hope for the best. And last night, she proved herself worthy to me of every vote she got, legitimate or not.

WAKING UP IN SOMEONE ELSE'S BED

Woke up in someone else’s bed today. And I didn’t even get his real name. Haha…

My quest for a good time last night ended in, read this, Bulacan. Chatted with lots of guys last night. One guy invited me over his place in Pasig. I went there and gave him a head at his building’s rooftop, while small raindrops were falling from the starless sky. From the rooftop the view was magnificent. The horizon was full of city lights which blurred if you look at it long. The Makati skyline was breathtaking. It felt like we were on top of the world. It was so romantic until… he stood in front of me.

When the rain became heavy, we ended the escapade inside his laundry room because his roommate was around.

I left his place quite early. Then I got a text message while I was on the MRT home. A guy was inviting me out next week. Told him I could meet him that night and that I could go to his place. Fortunately, there was no one home but him that time. I dropped off at Quezon avenue station, one station before my original stop, coz it was easier to get a ride from there and the trip was gonna be faster. After less that 45 minutes, I was waiting for him at 7-11 just as we agreed.

He was fast. The next thing I remember I was sitting on his bed, my pants off and my boxers slightly pulled down. Then it happened.

It was 11PM when I left his place. Quite early, I thought. So I called up another guy who was excited to meet me. Told him I could stay overnight at his place. He had been waiting an anticipating to get a piece of me.

After almost an hour, I was on a bus to Meycuaun, Bulacan. He fetched me up at some gasoline station and then we took a pedicab to his place. When we arrived at his house, his father was sitting asleep with the TV on. He must have fallen asleep while watching TV. With small, silent steps, we went to his room. He then got a couple of beers for the two of us. I didn’t drink though. I don’t drink Pilsen so I smoked a stick of cigarette instead and then we talked.

Then it happened and it happened again when we awoke the next day. A couple of condoms were scattered on the floor and the sheets were everywhere.

Arrived home around 3PM. I missed my bed last. I am gonna have a good night sleep Argh! I feel like a whore…

DISTANT MEMORY

Slept over at a friend's house last night somewhere in Fairview. She's a college friend and a kababayan. I also met her cousins which were from Romblon too, though we live in like extreme ends of the island. But nevertheless, they were a true born Romblomanons.

It brought a feeling of nostalgia. Deep inside me, there was a warm feeling of familiarity and of guilt. It has been almost three years since I stepped foot on that isalnd. Back then, in my frosh years here in the metro, going home were like rewards after every semester's work and struggles and hardships in college. Excitement would always cover my whole face everytime I get on the ship's dock, meeting familiar faces, chatting in my homegrown dialect, wondering who changed the most, comparing skin tones to figure out who is fairer from whom, updating myself with the lates rumors back home and among my high school batchmates, who married who and who got pregnant, and whatnot.

But those are just distant memories now. I have changed, and I would like to believe, for the better. For the past few years I have stayed away from my high school friends and classmates. For I have been a victim of a nasty rumor made by people whom I believed to be and whom I once called friends. I have been hurt, disappointed and degraded. And for what? Just to be a topic for some useless conversations? This is one of the reasons why I prefer to stay here in Manila. Away from the eyes of intrigues and close-mindedness, away from frustrations, away from where I once called home.

I have been transformed as an urbanite. And Manila more than welcomes me. Rural life ain't really for me. Conservative ain't in my blood. I wanted to be free, and now I am. I won't trade that fro anything else. For some people I might be just another probinsyano who got drugged by the urban. But for me, this is my destiny.

Christmas Party at a beach resort owned by a claamate.

I left for Manila a day before due to some disappoinments.